Rather than paying attention to the road and leaving your work in the office, you’re making mental lists of what you haven’t finished at work and then another list of what you need to do when you get home. Time just seems to fly by as there are never enough hours in the day.
By the time you get home and cooked dinner its eight o’clock and you just can’t face doing the washing up or tiding the house. But you have to finish preparing for tomorrows important meeting. You are not in bed until 1 a.m. and just as you seem to be falling off into a deep sleep the alarm clock goes off. It can’t be 7 am already? You don’t dare hit the snooze button for fear of falling asleep.
So you head for the kitchen in search of a coffee. You have now got only 15 minutes to take your shower, eat and get on the road before rush hour traffic starts. By the time you are in the car and off to work you realize you have forgotten to eat breakfast again. Its only Tuesday, but you could swear it’s at least Thursday. The weekend can’t come soon enough.
Does this sound like you or someone you know? Even if your day isn’t as stressed as this, stress is becoming a bigger and bigger part of many people’s lives. But too much stress can not only reduce the quality of your life and the degree of happiness you experience, it can also make you seriously ill and age faster. In previous stress articles we have focused on how too much stress can potentially make you sick. If you have not taken our free stress test then do so now on this link www.alun.dk/stresstest.
In this article we will provide you with practical tools you can use to manage and reduce your levels of stress. These tools are very effective so even if you don’t consider yourself stressed you can still benefit from reading the article and incorporating some of the techniques into your life, because they will all help you to become more time efficient and a lot healthier.
Understanding stress
When under a negative stress reaction, your nervous system sends your body into a virtual 112 emergency mode called “fight or flight”. Fight or flight is an alarm system created to protect the body when it’s in danger. When the body is put into a state of emergency, it prepares to defend itself from danger or an attack.
This is done by releasing all the energy necessary to prepare for rage or a sudden movement. The fight or flight stress response releases adrenaline, causes blood flow to the muscles and away from other organs not necessary for defence, alters the digestive process, increases blood pressure, heart rate and breathing rates, and triggers pupil dilation.
During sports events, self-defence, running from a tiger, “fight or flight” is essential for survival. But if these changes occur while someone is neither fighting nor fleeing, but working on a computer keyboard to meet a deadline, getting angry with someone, worrying constantly about money etc., it can be extremely dangerous via causing you to be unhappy, weakens your immune system and can ultimately lead to disease.
Identifying Your Sources of Stress; Clarity is Everything
The first step to dealing with stress is identifying the source of it. Define the worry situation clearly in writing – fully half of all problems can be solved just by clearly defining them. Remember, “Accurate diagnosis is half the cure.” The best way to do this is to go to a quite place, where you won’t be disturbed with blank pieces of paper and some pens.
Out in nature is often a good place to let you think about what’s worrying you. Once relaxed simply write down everything that’s stressing you, now take 2 steps back and think about what you have written so you understand where the stress is coming from. Another excellent strategy is to sit down with a good friend, family member or even professional councillor and just talk. As you talk listen to what you are saying and you will soon lean what’s at the root of the problem.
Because stress is unavoidable in life, it is important to find ways to decrease and prevent stressful incidents and decrease your negative reactions to stress. Once you determine the types of stress factors affecting you, you need to handle the issue. Never run from the problem or think it will solve itself. It will not. The following are the 10 fundamental strategies for reducing stress and replacing it with happiness.
1. The Law of Attraction: “You become what you think”
To change your stress levels requires a moment of awakening. It takes a time when you look around you and finally realize that you are not a victim of your cries; you are at the root of them. The challenge is that its human nature to look at everyone and everything around us, not only to blame but also for the answer to our problems. True success comes when you start looking back at the person in the mirror.
It’s easy to blame circumstances for your stress. The problem with this philosophy is that when you blame things outside yourself for your troubles, this creates a self defeating outlook on life. You believe that you are not in control and nothing can be done to overcome stress. You also put the power of your life outside you when it is truly inside you, big mistake!
The real roots of stress come from within. It’s the way you look at and administer your life that causes most of your pain and unhappiness. This is actually great news. The easiest thing in the world is to change you. People can be tough to change, and family, jobs, and situations may be impossible to change. But you can change right here, right now. So as Nike says “Just do it”.
So if you want to reduce your stress and replace it with happiness then it is vitally important that you understand the Law of Attraction. When you do you will wake up in a wonderful new world, where you are in control of your life, happiness and destiny. Awakening allows you to start taking responsibility for the stress-producing circumstances that surround you and begin to create the peace and joy you were born to have.
The Law of attraction: “You become what you think”!
I have put this statement in bold because it is the absolute key to success in life. Let’s just think about this sentence again “You become what you think of”. What does it actually mean? Simply, that the Universe will bring into your life what you focus on. So to reduce or eliminate stress or to be happy and successful or achieve anything you need to think positively focus on what you want to happen not on what you don’t want to happen.
As the old proverb says “more of the same, gives more of the same” so if you are constantly engaged in “Stinking thinking” or are focused on how stressed or unhappy you are then you are going to get more stress and unhappiness in your life. But if you replace these negative thoughts with positive ones such as your dreams or goals then the change is amazing.
This is the main reason why successful people do so well in life, because they focus on the success they want; think positively of the good things they want to achieve in life. So from this moment on take charge of your destiny and everything that happens to you. Take responsibility for your thoughts, if you begin to think negatively then replace these thoughts with positive ones, focus on the things you want to happen to you not your fears. Think nice thoughts, say them out aloud, surrounding yourself with a positive environment, with positive people, with things you like and take control of your life and always remember The Law of attraction; “You become what you think”!
2. Do what you LOVE to do
Everybody is born a genius, there are no exceptions. You like every other human on this planet has exceptional skills that are way above average. You just have to use time to find and learn to understand the genius that’s inside you. The best way to do that is start by looking at the activities you love to do. If you are an accountant who has always dreamed of becoming a fireman then you are not living your dream, because you are not doing what you love, not living your legacy.
So think about what you love to do and what you want to be remembered for. Set goals on how to achieve what you want in life; focus on what you want and not on what you don’t want to happen to you. Accept failure as part of succeeding, and slowly but surely start to use more of your time in things that you love to do. You don’t need to make a massive career change, Rome wasn’t built in a day but the more time you spend on doing things you love to do then the less stressed and happier you will become.
3. Effective time management, create more time for things you enjoy.
Good time management skills can allow you to spend more time doing things that you love to do, spending more quality time with your family and friends and as a positive side effect increase your performance all of which will help reduce your stress.
A. Tips for saving time:
You can save time by focusing and concentrating, delegating, and prioritizing time for yourself. The most effective way to do this is to schedule at least 1 hour every Friday afternoon to preparing the week ahead. If you discipline yourself to not only do this but to prioritize your tasks in order of most importance and in accordance with your goals, you will see a big difference in your productivity and save a lot of time. It is also important to plan time for activities you enjoy; after all it shouldn’t be all work and no play! With this in mind:
• Goals. Set both long and short term goals. Writing goals down on paper is essential. See our article on goals for more info.
• Weekly Plan. Discipline yourself to sit down every Friday afternoon and plan the week ahead. Review this plan either Sunday night or first thing Monday morning. Remember if you “Fail to plan, you plan to fail”. To take this a step further, you can make a monthly or 6 month plan based on your goals.
• Set Priorities. Successful stress management requires that you take complete control over the activities of your daily life. This means that you plan your day, set priorities and work on high value tasks.
• Create Chunks of Time. This is not only the hardest challenge that a person faces, but the ability to concentrate single-mindedly is probably the rarest single ability in the workplace. Most of our important tasks take large chunks of time. We need to plan and organize our days in such a way that we allocate these chunks of time so that we can do the jobs upon which our success depends.
• Learn to say no. Don’t over commit yourself. If you take on too much, you are creating stress. Decide ahead of time that you will say "no" to the nonessential demands on your time.
• Focus. Do one thing at a time. When you try to do too many things at once, each usually takes more time than it would if you focused on it alone. So prioritize your task and once you have started a job finish it 100% before going onto the next one.
• Concentrate. Minimize distractions and interruptions. Ask others to give you a specific block of time when you are not disturbed.
• Delegate. Ask someone else to take on a task. It is not always important to have all the control.
• Schedule time for fun. If you spend every second of your day getting things done, you may resent never having time for yourself. This resentment can make your work time less efficient and productive.
The wonderful thing about setting priorities and concentrating single-mindedly is that, the very minute that you do these two things, you will begin to feel a tremendous sense of control and well-being. As you work progressively toward the accomplishment of your most important tasks, you will feel a flow of energy and enthusiasm.
As you finish something that is relevant and significant to your company and to yourself, you get a burst of energy. Your self-esteem improves. You feel good about yourself. You have a wonderful sense of making measurable progress toward greater success in your career. You feel like you are making a difference. On the other hand, working on small tasks or low priority items simply causes you to feel more and more stress. Even if you finish a dozen or a hundred of these minor and irrelevant low value tasks, you get no feeling of satisfaction or accomplishment. Now, here are two ideas you can use immediately to concentrate single mindedly on the highest value use of your time.
First, analyze your work and goals before you begin to make your weekly plan and at the start of each day, then ask yourself, “What one thing, if I did it quickly and well, would have the greatest impact on my work?” Whatever it is, go to work on that one item immediately. Second, once you have begun on a high value task, discipline yourself by repeating over and over, “Back to work, back to work, back to work!” This will keep you focused and on track until you finish the job.
B. Evaluate your priorities to manage stress
Finding time to get all the things done that you want or need to do often leads to stress because there are never enough hours in the day to do everything. But once you have got into the habit of making a monthly, weekly and daily plan and prioritizing your time in accordance with your goals and what’s most important to you, the time you invest in planning will more than pay its way. This will allow you use more time on your priorities and to achieve more, thereby reducing stress and freeing more time up for things you enjoy. It just takes a bit discipline every Friday afternoon!
Prioritize your time by making a list of all the things you need or want to accomplish (tasks or activities) in a given day, week, or month. Look at the list and put the most important activity at the top of the list, second most important activity second and so on. Now work through your prioritized list and place the most important activities in your weekly plan. Always start the day with thing that you absolutely have to get done that day – the most important activity. This is often the thing you least want to do but once its done it will give you a tremendous sense of achievement and a good feeling for the rest of the day which often leads to getting more things done!
The next thing to do is to evaluate where do you spend most of your time? Is this in line with your priorities and goals? You can effectively do this by updating your weekly plan every day so that you have a record of how you have used your time, at the end of the week review the results before making your plan for the following week. Now take 2 steps back and see if you need to discipline yourself to use more time on the right things and less time on things that are less important for you.
The goal of this system is not merely to get more things done or to be more efficient, but to clarify the way you set your priorities and how you choose to spend your time. Accept that your life is a "work in progress." You don’t have to (and probably can’t) finish every project or meet every goal in your life in the near future. If one of your goals has a lower priority for you, accept that you can work on that goal later in your life.
4. The Powerful Stress Relieving Benefits of Exercise, Tai Chi and Qi Gong
Physical activity not only helps you deal with the immediate stress that you are feeling, because it helps you to think clearer, and gives you an immediate “feel good” factor, it can also help your body be better prepared for future stress by making your healthier and physically strong. The “feel good” factor you experience during exercise is created by natural tranquilizing chemicals called endorphins which are released in the brain; bringing you pleasurable relaxation and rejuvenation.
The secret is to get just enough of the right exercise and no more. A program of regular (3-5 times per week), exercise (combination of weight and aerobic training) relieves stress and makes it easier for you to sleep at night. But make sure you give yourself time to recover after each training session otherwise you will risk overtraining, a weakened immune system and increased stress.
Always prioritize weight training over aerobic training, due to its superior health benefits via maintaining or increasing muscle mass, which in turn gives a better stimulus for fat burning and general health. Stretching tight muscles is also a good way to relieve muscle tension and stress.
Tai Chi and Qi Gong (pronounced “chee goong”) are traditional Chinese exercises that are very effective in helping you relax and de stress. They are based on two ideas:
1. Energy, called qi or chi, flows through the body along "energy pathways" called meridians. If the flow of chi is blocked or unbalanced at any point on a pathway, it is thought that you may become ill. You do tai chi and qi gong to increase energy (chi or qi) and improve health through gentle, graceful, repeated movements.
2. Nature, including the body, consists of opposing forces called yin and yang. Good health results when these forces are in balance. You do tai chi and qi gong movements in an attempt to help restore the body’s balance of yin and yang.
Tai chi is a series of movements done either very slowly or very quickly to move the body’s chi. People use tai chi as a way to combine meditation and movement and to improve and maintain their health. Qi Gong involves different movements that you can do in any order. Some common Qi Gong movements include raising and lowering the arms, moving the head from side to side, and rubbing the ears, feet, and hands. Tai Chi and Qi Gong are not only excellent in reducing stress they can also improve posture, balance, coordination, endurance, flexibility and help to maintain good health and quality of life. ¨
5. Laugh more to Relieve Stress
Many studies have shown that humour is one of the best antidotes to stress. Laughing and feelings of happiness release the same “happy” endorphins in our body that exercise does.
The more we laugh the more endorphins released and the better we feel. Whereas stress releases adrenaline and cortisol which overtime suppress our immune system making us more susceptible to illness, a good hearty laugh has been proven to, lower stress hormones and strengthen our immune system.
Do you know how much adults laugh compare to children? Its thought provoking that adults laugh on average 4 times where as kids laugh over 400 times on average per day. So rent a humorous movie or read a funny book or spend time with happy people who are fun to be with and like to laugh at good jokes and let those happy endorphins flow!
6. Expressing your feelings and relax your mind
There is good evidence that writing about stressful events and circumstances may help relieve stress and improve diseases linked to stress. One of the best ways to do this is to go to a quite place with a big piece of paper and some colouring pens and write and down what is stressing and making you unhappy. Once it’s down on paper then you will often find that you can not only better cope but start to see possible solutions.
Furthermore discussing how you feel with friends, family members, or a counsellor is an important way of coping with and relieving stress. Laughing and crying are also natural ways to release tension and frustration. They are both part of a normal emotional healing process. But never ever bottle stress up inside, that not only makes things worse it can cause you to become seriously ill. Find a way to let it out, to release all the tension and then start working on way to relieving the stress.
7. Quality Time for Yourself
Schedule some YOU time daily or at least two or three times a week into your weekly plan. Time for you to cater to yourself, do something you love and enjoy or just relax with a good book or take a power nap. Turn off your phones close your door put up a do not disturb sign; take time out for you, schedule a date with you.
If you set time aside to relax; your mind can often process your problems and perhaps come up with some solutions. If you feel you don’t have enough time to do things that you love then that’s a clear sign you need to master the time management skills discussed earlier in this article. Life is too short for it to be all work and no play so prioritize time for yourself and do something relaxing that you enjoy and love. This could be;
Visiting a new place or taking part in a new activity can give you the new perspective that you need. Do something creative – Write a poem, draw a picture, Listen to music, walk in nature, play with pets, write a story, play an instrument; all of these things can help you focus on something other than your problem, while doing something that you enjoy. Further more clear out any activities that are just burdensome and really aren’t essential to your life as a whole at least not at this time. It is also a good idea to go regularly on holiday to get totally away from things and recharge your batteries.
8. Breath
Deep relaxing breathing is a quick, easy and effective way to de-stress. Simply breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Your breathing should be slow, deep, relaxed and rhythmical. Breathing should never be forced, just relaxing. As you inhale your stomach should expand, never chest breathe as this is unnatural, if you are not sure how to breathe properly just put your hands on your belly and make sure it expands as you breathe in. As you breathe just relax and clear your mind, if you find that your mind is jumping around thinking of the things that are stressing you then count your breaths. Soon you will find that you start to relax and become more and more energized! Start with 5 minutes then gradually increase the time spent relaxing this way.
9. Eat right
There is no getting away from the fact that “You are what you eat” and what you eat can have a big effect on your overall ability to deal with situations that cause stress. The healthier you eat, then the healthier your body becomes and the better able it is to cope with stress.
You are genetically programmed to eat meat, fish, eggs, vegetables, fruit, nuts and seeds washed down with clean water nothing else. If you eat this way 80% of the time then you will be well on the way to a healthy body and one that is more resistant to stress. Follow the advice in the nutrition section of this website because you need all the energy and mental strength you can get, to feed your body right!
10. Get enough sleep!
Sleep depravation is one of the worst things we can do to our bodies. We need a minimum of 8-9 hours of sleep per night but most of us are averaging 7 at best. If you don’t get enough sleep then you don’t give your body time to mentally and physically rejuvenate.
The best time for your body to sleep and recover is between 10pm and 6am so if you go to bed at midnight you are missing quality rejuvenating time. Many experts believe 1 hours sleep before midnight is worth 2 hours after midnight. When well rested you will not only have more energy, less chance of becoming sick but you will be better able to deal with any stressful situations. So prioritize your rest and lights out at 10 p.m.
What you don’t want to do if you are stressed
Be careful of eating too much or too little and over indulging in stimulants such as caffeine, tobacco and alcohol as this can also negatively affect stress. Try to avoid confrontations at work or at home with your spouse, children, or friends but on the other hand try to be around positive happy people as much as possible.
Criticizing yourself (negative self-talk), is the worst thing you can do. Remember the Law of Attraction; “We become what we think”. So any negative thoughts are only going to make you feel worse because by the Law of Attraction negative thoughts are only going to produce MORE negative thoughts. Its ok to have some negative thoughts creep in but instead of dwelling on negative thoughts replace them immediately with some positive ones, remember you as a human being a privileged in that you are in control of your mind and thoughts. It only takes 21 days to replace old habits with new ones so if you work hard at having a positive mental attitude then you will soon have one.
Conclusion
Today despite the best plan, you will experience potentially stressful situations. Work, relationships, school, personal and family-health problems, money issues, and even positive events such as weddings can all be stressing. What’s important is how you deal with situations. Stress only becomes negative when YOUR RESPONSE to it is negative. In fact stress is entirely self induced. Its how you respond to stress that causes a negative reaction in your body.
You can choose not to be stressed or to look at the positive in situations. It is in many ways the way you look at the world that’s important; is the bottle half empty or half full? Just how negative or positive this reaction to stress will determine the amount of emotional turmoil and damage that can be done to your body and mind. You are the one who chooses to be stressed or not, to complain and let life’s challenges defeat you, or to be positive, happy and healthy!
New habits take only twenty-one days to become habitual for us. So swap negative thoughts for positive ones and keep it up for at least twenty-one days and you will be on your way to not only a less stressful but happier and more successful life.
The most important thing for you to understand not only with stress but with anything in life is:
The Law of Attraction: “You become what you think”!
This is quite simply the most powerful and amazing sentence you will ever read. But don’t just read it take it to heart, start now on taking responsibility for your life, actions and thoughts. Because whatever you think about and believe, with feeling, becomes your reality. To make the Law of Attraction work for you continually repeat to yourself the words, pictures and thoughts consistent with your dreams and goals and you will attract them into your life.
Now set a goal for yourself, write it down in as much detail as possible, think about it, imagine having achieved this goal and you will have taken a big step to achieving your dream. Once you have achieved this goal set a new one.
Next make a list of all the things you are worried and stressed about. Then begin devising a plan to make change in your life. In many cases effective time management can solve many problems. Discipline yourself to sit down every Friday afternoon and plan the month and week ahead. Clear out any activities that are just burdensome and really aren’t essential to your life especially at this time. Schedule some YOU daily time, an appointment with yourself at least 2 to 3 times per week. Time for you to do something you enjoy.
While making your weekly plan remember to schedule time for other essential stress reliving techniques such as exercise, laughing, breathing, eating correctly, sleeping a minimum of 8 hours etc. All these activities are not only excellent for preventing stress but also reducing stress as well.
One of the great things about humans is that we are in control of our own future. We are personally responsible for everything that happens to us. We have a great power in that we become what we think and believe in, so focus on good things happening to you, set positive goals, take responsibility for your thoughts and life and by the Law of Attraction you will be on the right track to a happy healthy stress free life!
References:
David Allen: Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity
Brian Tracy: Maximum Achievement
Paul Chek: Eat move and be Healthy
